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The algorithm of life

Everything has an algorithm. Every step you make, each breath you take: it is a sequenced rhythm. Every move you make is an algorithm to the next move. See it as all steps you make to be intended, living and feeling alive.

Facebook also has an algorithm. It uses it on a mathematical and commercial way. The more moves your page or group makes the more you are seen. Will be showed to. If people just scroll your material you heartfully make, like I intend to do, away or swipe it with one movement (see it as their swiping rhythm) Facebook is like a terrible place to show and prosper your (internal) hard work.

As I figured it out why almost no one reacted anymore on the posts (I am not a visionary) I had to conclude that my work isn’t showed but also doesn’t pay itself of until now. Grumpy as I was, tired of all the life processes and a stomach what hurts everyday I asked to the universe whether I should find my own path and leave Facebook as an almighty forum what only settles those who pass the computer programs of their existential rhythm.

This does not comply with my soul rhythm, I thought and was about to think. Would I quit this almighty self-proclaimed platform or shouldn’t I? The answer was very clear. As everything has its own algorithm in life it does contribute to my rhythm. It makes me write and post, draw and share and with each step I make on behalf of my heartful soul self I shape my own rhythm of life. It apparently isn’t a matter of being showed to. It clearly is a way to express myself and pass the words through what I am allowed to receive.

Facebook doesn’t set the standards, they aren’t so almighty as they might think. As all has its plan of itself… even a computer algorithm does not exclude me, the words I am allowed to channel nor the foreseen path. This is not a complaint against Facebook. Let them rule the almighty path they are about to walk as an almighty self-proclaimed holiness and goodness.

The words, the texts, the intuitive manner I am allowed to work (all by passing the energy through the beloved soul) will find their way someday. However, this is just a step on the staircase of soul expression, soul evolution and soul living. This does not compel or excel even not tell anything about the capability of my soul and its goodies.

I won’t let myself down by extracting myself of the big sea of internet, not the Bermuda triangle called Facebook as all will step forward and rise as it is meant to be. It is not a blockade nor a limitation. Facebook is just a step. Perhaps a step in the unseen, in a hidden algorithm, in a world I do not match, do not understand and certainly doesn’t set my ego button on. I am me and I do it my way. By each step I make, each breath I take, by every post I make and share. That is my rhythm. For the now… My algorithm of life.

Love, Irmgard

You can enjoy and be happy with the small things

The magical input of the universe is a natural quality everybody is capable to receive. In the strive to connect with self and becoming whole nobody is excluded to listen to the energetic frequencies the universe is serving to us. Once supplied with such a natural state of being it can or might be quite a challenge to actually start listening to the ‘voice of the universe’.

It costed me several years to listen well and to surrender to the universe and the outcome. My soul is able to translate the energetic resonances into words and that is fabulous. It just shows me my leads and I am the one who choses what to follow. I am always supplied with something called free will and that makes us (me and the universe) a life bond, a commitment, for eternity.

During my quick snap moment drawing myself into stillness to start listening I am able to see my soul. Often it is showed in a prismatic energetic flow full of a beautiful spectrum of colors (the rainbow), like a diamond what shines deep down in the spelunks of my heartful surroundings of my being, or like a flower which petals are growing and blossoming. It depends of how they will show it to me. Mostly it is a combination of words of magical instream, visions and clair hearings. Last months the smelling also starts to show itself and the colors also come in.

I feel that the burden of the tsunami of universal wealth what unleashed itself in June 2017 has transformed in a sustainable contributive asset of my being. I can manage it at last and it costed me process after process, being tested (it seemed never ending) by the universe to the source of my being. I went from up to down and reverse. It is integrated now being high sensitive and being connected with that silver cord into the source of all what is.

Meanwhile I expelled and excelled into the streams of the universal wealth and I became one with self. Whole and authentic to the bottom. Being okay with self with my dualistic sides being light and dark at the same time. As all is assembled in our humanly bodies. I am not chosen, I am not one of those 144000 workers in the light… I am just me. Irmgard. Plain and simple and that is what I stand for.

Grabbing myself together last years I am also learn to stand for myself. Filling my own energetic space. Being navigated on behalf of my soul I am supplied with the eye of seeing through as said. I can see through. Through masks, keeping up the appearances and even the best acting people will be screwed back to their source, unconsciously by my silver lining eye. Most people are not fond of me because they never know what I really see and know about them. I scares the shit out of them. But the fact is I only meet people on source level when I want so. If I don’t… when information comes in I leave it and ignore it.

Let’s be honest… I really do not want to know your preferences on your personal account. Spare me! So back to the grab and snap moments of stillness of being. Yesterday I saw my inner diamond again, well they just showed it like that. It was dusty and its shininess was covered by mist. Instantly I realized that I worked too hard and the sparkle what drove me had almost been vanished away. I saw myself carrying all that balls, juggling like a circus artist on an one wheel bike. The balance had vanished away and it seemed like I was the mist of my former self. I heard the words: “do you need to carry all that balls? Can you skip some to get more grip and balance on your situation?”

Seeing that dusty diamond I had been polishing so hard for many years… it was a pity to feel and see it like that. The words came to me “can you do things what make you happy to make your soul shining again”. My head started to think about that big bucket list I never wrote named the never lived bucket full of unlisted things. My head spinned… Maybe going on a holiday, to a warm resort doing nothing and just be-ing into nothingness with myself. That sounded great! Again I heard words “it doesn’t need so big. You can enjoy and be happy with the small things. By just sitting and having a cup of coffee and just be”. Once again they hit a crucial aspect of my being. It doesn’t need big, far nor extra-large indeed. Just the tiny things make life agreeable. And give the balance. Like writing and having a cup of tea next to me and sharing my soul goodies to the world. Being balancing and up to a sparkling soul again. That’s what intend to do…

Love, Irmgard

Just be you & shine bright

Recently I read in a magazine that life is all about being meaningfully busy, being purposed and living the purposed you. As a matter of fact there was said that without purpose you better could not exist. I was a bit disillusioned about this statement and that in a magazine what is all about being happy and striving for and living a fully qualified soulful life.

What was meant to say, I would give rather other words to this, that having a purpose is as a red life thread through your existence. That you can take this lead by the hand and follow the leads, the course of this line. As an intuitive cord to be led by. I thought about my own existence and realized that it was not purposed for so many moments, times and mainly on those moments when I was imbalanced and had no clou where to go. Reaching blindfolded to the universe and asking many times to guide me.

As I was not able to listen at those times I mainly was purposed and occupied with something what didn’t make me happy after all or I wasn’t purposed at all. Does this include that it was better to be not than being without a purpose? Isn’t it that life is all about finding your highest good, finding your potential and living the best purposed you? Life can be seen as the earth school and I may fall, I may rise, I am allowed to make mistakes too but also I am also allowed to find my purpose in life. In fact this takes me decades… and does this include that my existential worth is… none?!?

I was completely in shock when I read those lines and thought about someone… Without any signature of himself, finding its way in life, coping with difficulties, it’s longing to be addicted and being addicted to many kind of things. Disillusioned about life itself, humanly self and thinks that he is a loser as so far last years he hasn’t experienced any success. Having no goal, setting no purpose at all, not finding his path, potential nor himself. Is he an existential farce?

No, he isn’t! Not at all. Of the many good hearted persons I ever met he is one of the brightest and most pure souls I know. Better said… feel. His core is so bright, so illuminating and he is so kind… would having no purpose in life make him better? Existential better? The fact that I was shivered by such words, delicately published in a happiness magazine, does not stand on itself. Is he a loser or not is the question? Does he existential does have no meaning at all referring to the lines?

Everybody has a meaning in life. All human beings do contribute to each other as we are all interwoven and connected with each other. Maybe his deeds does not stand on the greatest walk of fame nevertheless his existence is completely contributing by shining, sending its light, showing its light by being himself. Is there no greater good to experience than being yourself? The light always shines through and just being set in an embodiment, being a humanly soul, might be for some of us (certainly seen in the moment and by the moment) be their greatest deed, virtue and purpose all together.

We do not have to shine all big in the outer world as the inner world is bright enough. We do not have all to make big steps in society to be seen. Seeing through and through with my soul eyes… there are so many people who are purposed by just being themselves. Isn’t that what counts? Being just yourself and letting your light shine, illuminate others… just by being you?

Let’s do that all together. Being purposed might be our greatest accomplishment seen by the eyes of society, the standardizations and dogma’s. Be free whatever you might think but you can rather start to feel what someone contributes to (your) life by being their authentic self than all what society expects of us… human beings.

Love, Irmgard

Forgiveness can only grow when you have forgiven yourself

The trophy of being is not the one you gain with your thought but with your heart. A heart what is stuck into self, its pains, grief and also resentments, soaking into pithiness, might not quite contribute to your being. As the stuck feelings might downsize you into your prophesied means. In the forgotten pains, the forgetfulness of yourself, the pains you carry along and the mistrust what goes on and on as a red thread in your life has become a farce of being. As you are qualified in your behavior to forgetfulness of self, of making laughter the distraction and being so used to operate and live besides your energetic space has become an art. It has become your art of living.

You are far more qualified than you think you are, what you live until so far and your pains are about to be captured and sheltered in that body groove of being. It is quite a devastating manner of living as once the universe has knocked on your door and you keep sheltering, ignoring and being the laughter of your own being, you haven’t a clou what life is all about.

Life might just be so much more than you show, what you live and that masking actress of you might mask you but the real (authentic) ones just poke right through it. As they are able to see… right in your soul. What they accomplish to see is that you are faking yourself, others too. Showing the world an adapted version, a sustained belief of what others think they expect of you, what they like of you and how they want you rather to be.

Being is not coping. Living a coping mechanism. Being is not faking. Being is also not laughing your pains so much away that you start believing that all is well. Inside you. Your internal you. On soul level. It itches and bulbs, it scratches and utters and you won’t feel the wound(s) of the past as your coping mechanism has settled inside yourself and you even not feel that the way you act, isn’t yours.

You have to start forgiving yourself, girl. What has caused you your deepest pains and only then you are able to find the right, essential you. To be, being, just the way you are supposed to be. The more you unleash yourself of the burdens of the past the more you can undo yourself of that led balloon of pains and mistreatment what caused you so much hurt and sorrow that you are walking on that thin line of life: the border of the existential line.

You are so much more than you show, you are so much capable of what you manage and work out. You are outstanding beautiful and you won’t see it. Feel it. Just the way I can see it with the eyes and energy of my soul. You are balancing on the mistrust and on your forgotten pains what resides in your being like a thick wooden thorn. You have to manage to pull that thorn of pain out and once you are recognizing what I am saying you can take a leap and take advantage of removing that itch of pain what keeps on itching.

Laughter won’t help. Just a while. Been there too, you know. It is not the laughter what keeps you alive it is the universe what kept you going so long. But now it’s time to unleash you of the burdens and start making progress as the divine timing has come. To step forward into the meanings of your soul, its path and your prophesied life. The universe has knocked, is still knocking and will start slamming on your door as you keep ignoring them, you don’t let them in or when you send them away.

As a beautiful divine creature you have to start recognizing your inner belief and its source, its pains and you have to give room to the tears what aren’t shed. For so far. I believe you feel what I am saying. You stiff headed human being. You think you have got it all, manage it all but the moment you set yourself still and are able to stand still you feel what I am talking about.

Start forgiving yourself for the pain you feel, the tears you forgot to shred, the shelter and walls you built against your pains. Make the first step by taking that figural slam hammer and start bouncing, slamming and demolishing that wall, fence or shelter what you so manually constructed over the years. Since your childhood.

Forgiveness can only grow when you have forgiven yourself. You are not the offender nor the victim. Anymore. As it is now. The moment now. You probably have victimized yourself over the years and acknowledgement will open any brick, mask or wall you built to protect yourself. You are able to do that. You are not that little girl anymore, that woman that was traumatized, what was mistreated. You are you in the moment and every day you have to possibility to step over it and come out that cave, that prison you have shaped for yourself.

Life isn’t so bad after all. There are many, many goodhearted souls and once you have opened yourself you will see that you attract just the kind of people that match your frequency, resonate and are so like wise that you never feel alone again. You can do this girl. Give room to yourself and dive in your essentiality by being… yourself after all…

Love, Irmgard

Expect nothing and get everything

My inner accomplishments of all the processes I dealt with, worked through and learned my lessons in it is that I do not have any expectations anymore. The whole rationality of life changing and soul conforming processes lie in the strive to let go what is predicted, assumed and dictated by the mind and to go with the flow of the soul.

Going with the flow of my soul you might ask. What the heck she is talking about? Every time I write an article I keep asking this myself too. As no articles are set up, planned or thought about and often on the moment I settle myself behind my laptop I have no clou what I am going to write about. Besides today. The whole day I felt that my blog should be about expectations. Rather having none. That was exactly the issue what was the x-factor of my soul day.

Without giving you lots of details about my process, read learning lesson of today, again was… to keep the mind off, expectations out and let’s go with the flow. Dealing with the soul flow means that you get a grip on my soul self and surrender myself to the actual moment called now, feel in that particular moment and keep all the thoughts out. So even the expectations. A difficult one, I can tell you.

The real go with the soul flow is that you can be as you are meant to be, prioritized in the moment of being and set not your standard on the expecting, the wanting or the getting but to let this go. Into the trust and surrender that everything will exactly enfold, unroll and show itself as it is universally meant to be.

Quite a learning lesson and it is so humanly to expect, have expectations and find this of it of that. The todays conquered mind is that I stepped into the soul flow and surrendered to the moment of this flow. Momentizing in moments and on and on.

There is no greater contribution to your soul, its processes and your soul growth that you can be, really be, in the moment of being without all that fuzzy mind stuff like expectations. It was quite a challenge as so many happened before nevertheless during the day I felt that it was okay. To be so(ul) okay. Expecting nothing and gained so much.

Respect for my connection, an overflow of love and abundance. Even a trunk full of mirroring reflections and insights. With expectations I never was able to feel this and carry this afternoon as it flowed… just the way it did. Thank you universe for another lesson to stay by myself. Loved the way you showed it to me. Expect nothing… and get everything.

Love, Irmgard

Welcome on board!

In the eagerness in expanding, exploring and finding my way in the world, the society and cultures I really love to travel. Not the travelling although sitting in an airplane to be catapulted to extreme heights gives me such a nice adrenaline that I wished I had become a pilot myself.

I once was examined as it was my dream to become a pilot in the military I passed two exams very well but my dream failed when I was tested (in the third exam) on the focus. I saw compasses, airplane rotating’s and my brain got so chaotic that my youth dream fell apart. Quite disillusioned I started two years after that debacle at the university to study law and in 1995 I got my bul and I graduated in health law. Also that dream felt apart and I ‘got stuck’ in raising my beautiful three children. All three attuned and frequented with such a silver line that they where born with a silver universal spoon in their mouth.

The travelling became an escape in a very busy family life and once the universe plugged the power supply out of my family life in 2017 I started to travel again in a different way. The Corona stopped this and my frequent flying was reduced to all what could be driven by car within the land borders. Moving from one to another place, selling and buying houses became, all universally guided, my main occupation. And here I am… my body is hurting, my burnout came back and I am disillusioned and depressed about my life, dreams and path.

Being a week off (being off is a big conclusion as my laptop, paint and drawing pencils go everywhere were I go) I drove to the North of the country and told my partner that I was so stuck in self that I had problems to leave my comforted zone. Even for a holiday. It seemed stupid telling this and I realize that it is a huge advantage to be able to go on a holiday with my work, my life and income.

I am not the complaining type, rather a positive soul, but being so tired of all that movement I told my partner that I loved to travel in the past but the harsh years and the Corona spoiled this habit. His answer inspired me to write this online article and he said: “although you didn’t travel psychically you travelled a lot. Internally”. That was exactly what I needed to hear. It was a big eye opener of my day. Last years I did travel. It was the deepest travelling I ever made. I climbed mountains, dived in spelunks of darkness, faced dualities and became so resilient in travelling that I ploughed, sighed and sweated and managed to get rid of, undoing, that backpack of pains, of sorrow and internal resentments.

Limitations, setting backs, painful memories and former life-experiences and deaths passed by as I am able to feel and experience those again and again until there was a tin layer of pain over what is still blocking me, my soul self and soul mission. As this task is so close and nearby… I worked so hard, travelled so deeply that I am almost unburdened, released and unlayered (my heart & soul) and everything happens on the divine timing what is set by the universe. I became the pilot of my soul and I am able now to launch myself in the presetting’s of my foreseen, universal foreseen, flight plan, flight route and universal flight. I am the captain of my soul plane and I invite you to be your own flight captain too and take your course. To fly yourself to your highest potential, your meanings and connective universal heights.

I am a pilot and I will navigate to great heights. There is no (internal) chaos anymore, no distraction and I even can hold the focus. In my silver lining, in connections and in my course. I did travel, I do travel and in that prospection I can navigate wherever I like, with whom I like and with what I like. I am a soul pilot. Welcome on board! I will be your pilot too, your flight attendant and will feed you with all the soul goodies I am able to serve…

Love, Irmgard

Magically flowing

The universe asked me recently what kind of year 2023 will be. They asked me “what are you going to feel?” As I am master and pro in shielding myself for decades I am aware that building bricks, walls and fencing didn’t make life easier for so far. In fact it soaked and suffocated me inside whilst pulling outside and showing my internal roots was foreseen. By my universal plan and contract too.

The almighty good isn’t almighty and magic alone as it concerns the prophesy of plans and contracts and it will overload you with magic and almightiness on the moment you are on board of the awakening train. Rather called the emotional, internal roller coaster, and it will let you go deep, steep and showing the highest magical peaks there are.

I often say to my partner the universe shows me her fairy tale book and there is nothing and there is all. Even all in between. Magic certainly exists and it touched me the last years over and over again.

Bricked walls didn’t hold and were thorned down, fences where cut and the universal magical roller coaster showed me moment after moment that there is only one thing what lasts in the naked truth of being your essentially, authentic, self: and that is going to the bottom of self. To the spelunks of being embracing all what shows itself: the dualistic sides of the humanly self and knowing, learning meantime that no shields, no masks and no bricky protection will last once the magical hand of the universe has touched you.

It certainly did. Years passed by and I faced the deep, the depressive and the ugly sides of myself again and again. In the learning processes, the deepening, the clearing of the soul I opened in one thing the most and that is feeling. Feeling in vulnerability. Being so naked that even my skin couldn’t protect me anymore.

Opening in vulnerability might be painful, unknown, scary too… but it makes you in fact a better you. As nothing is hidden anymore, you haven’t to keep all that balls up for yourself and the level of perfection has fainted away there will only be left… the naked soul you. As I experienced on my particular path.

It feels unnatural although it is natural as we are far more an universal soul than a humanly being and in the opening of being yourself the nakedness will vanish away by each step you take on behalf of the soul self. Being naturally yourself means also that you show the world your vulnerability. Just be aware that you always have the universal, magical, backup when you are processing on behalf of your soul (self). You will be helped, carried and setup for what you are about to do here as two legged soul. And… being open, feeling, showing your vulnerability will pay off some day as it will open your potential so much that it will start flowing. Magically flowing…

2023: the year of feeling, feelings and opening/sharing in vulnerability.

Love, Irmgard

Happy new soul year!

Are you prepared for 2023? I am not. As I have no expectations anymore, I do not think anything of it and I try to live in total acceptance and surrender… 2023 be my guest!

Still having, living and experiencing the consequences of 2022… I have to settle myself first more in my essentiality, my basis, my authenticity and get some rest to move on. Further on the path of my soul.

2023 is just a few hours left here. 2023: you does not exclude me, you do not push me anymore and the most important thing is I am okay as I am. In the lack of okayness lies the stumbling, the falling, the getting up and in the fierce full attempts to become whole at last… concluding now: I failed. My mission in 2022 failed. I didn’t become whole at last. The final tests were not taken, the universal exams were not passed as I moaned too hard, too deep. About my jump into the new, hesitated to take the challenge and my misty mind elevated once more and again. And again. I got stuck. Feel stuck and invited the universe to deliver me sun, light and lots of (internal) happiness.

Frankly said; I am not there and I never will. Even in the competition, the contributiveness of my soul, in my soul, to my most elevated, uplifting experiences, I have no vision left to think, feel whatever it might be that I am completed. In self, with self and for the soul self. Mission although failed in 2022 here!

Sure, I count my blessings each day. One day I see the light and I am abundantly grateful and the other day… I am soaked in that misty veiled mind and think… Fuck you universe with all your lessons, all your triggers and all you show to me. From the light to the dark and back.

Even on those depressive (the winter blues days) I am grateful. For the unicity of my soul, that tasty cup of coffee and the time what is given once again to do my thing in this overcomplete world with all that lightful souls what shine and do their beautiful thing. Their contribution. That lights my fire even on such cloudy cold winter days.

2023… I do not think in big horizons, great opportunities, best meetings or chances. I see it, live it and feel it moment by moment. Maybe I am a simple earthly goose but the only thing what sets my soul on fire are other things. What reminds of the words I got a few days ago…

“Your temple is your heart and soul”


“If can you can make something of nothing you have gained a lot”

And that is exactly my specialty being throwed four times out of my comfort zone last two years. Speaking about detachment…

With these words I wish you the best for 2023…  Live the best version of yourself, do what you love to do what sets your soul on fire. Seek… what is seeking you and the other way around. All what you need is yours as you don’t search for it. Happy new SOUL year!

Love, Irmgard

My goal for 2023

You impossible can’t think yourself happy. Although that is my experience.

In the past I tried:
To buy myself happy… it didn’t work.
I thought status would make me happy… it failed.
A big fancy house, car and garden would make me happy… they didn’t.
I ended up with dealing with, processing and finding the essentiality (me) in life.

Still I depend my happiness too much on the thinking of what makes me happy. The universe showed (the last 8 years) me all kind of experiences and feelings and as a matter a fact I know and experienced how it might work… still the mind comes in now and then..

That is okay for now, we are all humanly after all. But it is a challenge (some moments this is easier than other) to keep the mind off the prosperity of my internal goodies: my heart & soul.

My mind isn’t capable at all to mix its thoughts, conclusions and rationality onto the feelings what It feel internally…

So 2023… I made a commitment to myself that all what I carry out, send out, give, feel and will experience isn’t based on my thinking anymore but will be carried by the feelings of my heart and soul.

Love, Irmgard

Becoming whole in perspective

There is no cooperation, no cohesive and no connection when you are not aligned with self. In the unification of your soul self with your humanly self you can take a leap, have faith and take advantage of the commitment. That is what I have learned for so far. Although also my guides & the universe told me.

This takes an explanation. I am a distracted soul. An unleaded missile once said and in the misunderstanding of my own existential truth I was forgotten about my essentiality. We all are born as a humanly soul and often there becomes a gap between those two as they don’t get along with each other as soon as the humanly mind comes in.

My mind wasn’t in my particular way responsible for this gap. My soul has lived so many lives, has seen and experienced so different levels of dualistic humanly sides (from the light to the dark and back. And that over and over again. Being victim and offender) that my soul didn’t want to integrated again in a humanly body. No good so far.

I am fifty-three years old now and whole my life I am coping with myself, dealing with and living in a world I do not understand, I apparently don’t fit in and the more I aged how greater this feeling became. Totally detached of self, no connection with my body and in an extremely lack of attunement with my soul self I ploughed and did find my way in life.

Just before my paranormality revealed itself on a blasting manner (I thought that I really hit the fence!) I went in 2016 to an psychologist for my internal detachment and problems in life. Not knowing that I resonate on such a level that everything came as a tsunami to me I got the label (diagnosed) with autism as the Psychiatric screening shopping list doesn’t withhold “paranormality nor high-sensible into frequential states” as a category.

Disillusioned and perhaps a bit glad that “it had a name” I went further on my path and the years after I processed so deeply on an emotional and deep internal level that the formerly diagnostic means didn’t hold stand for myself and the people around me. It was like a flight of an eagle into my life to withdraw me of myself, my responsibilities and most of all of my humanly task: being soulfully helpful to others based on my soul potential.

Hiding and breaking every rule, every thought and every emotion for so far I am noticeable guided by my guides & the universe for several years now and all was heading to, working forward to, being myself once again. I felt blocked, fenced and regulated by my own internal limitations and although I peeled many layers of the disconnection with my humanly self and body… it went on and on.

Last week I was ‘warned’ by my guides and the universal input that at the 12th of December a major life-chance would happen. I saw myself jumping of a boat and coming back as a different person, everything would be shaken up and fallen down like a house of cards and yesterday I heard that a major revelation was at stake. I got the shivers. What possible should happen to get me so far… shaken in my internal truth so deeply that I can move on differently. Granted in my authenticity.

Thinking (!) of the worst and asking my aligned soul partner and attuned friend for help… this was the only input I got as all should be about the experience. I often ask a healing and give a healing to my spiritual, soul and life partner and as soon as he laid his hands on me yesterday evening I started shaking, seeing into clairvoyant, hearing into clairhearing and knowing into clairknowing. It was revealing, it was so clear what happened. The reason that I wasn’t connected with my body was that my soul didn’t want to incarnate in a humanly body at all. It came from an intelligence so lovingly, so telepathically and so illuminating and due to the former humanly experiences it wouldn’t be connected with a humanly body after all. So far the knowing and the feeling.

What happened after that is that I was launched in  something like a centrifuge, a swing and that I was turned around so fast that my soul was detached of my body. I saw my soul laying on the ground, huddled like a little baby and it was full of sorrow. Later on I felt, was told and processed that my soul had no impact at all in our world without a body and therefore it needs a body to set itself free, set itself in its potential and spreading its soul goodies. I saw my soul growing like ‘one dark big cloud ‘ and it was in denial, it was ‘angry’ and wouldn’t accept that it needed a humanly body to evolve. It ignored to settle itself in my body.

Evolvement does not stand on its own and is connected with the material and unmaterial body as well. As soon as my soul understood this it shrinked and set itself free of the burden it had lived for so many years. For decades. Apparently for many lives. I said the words that I forgive myself, forgive my soul and all was necessary to become whole at last. It was quite an experience again and I now feel that they can live, act and commit together as it was meant from the start. My body, soul and mind too.

I am not ill, crazy nor autistic… I was locked up by myself, by my soul experiences and couldn’t contact, live and connect with my soul. And my soul on the other hand wouldn’t connect with me. This revelation does set me free and I feel such a relief in my body. It is like a new me has stand up and takes its energetic space. I didn’t take a good care for so many years for myself as it didn’t interest me at all. Also this has changed and I feel  I can take steps now not only on behalf of my soul but also on behalf of my humanly body.

The universe still surprises me with its magic, with its ‘coincidences’, meetings and with its methods to guide me, to learn me my life and evolutionary lessons but… this was something I never could have imagined that this disconnected state was the reason for my internal limitations, my emotional disabilities and the problems with not properly been connected with self and with others.

I certainly not have seen the light, but I am touched by its illuminating abilities to set me free of my burdens of this life, former lives and of the pains of my soul. What I have seen was really awful and I will spare you the details but just know that something was has wounded your soul so deeply can disconnect you of yourself, your pains, your life but most of all of your soul…

Love, Irmgard