Set back in my deliberate manner of how I intended things to do I am highly supposed to do it otherwise now. As my patterns, my education, life settings does not apologize themselves, everything was needed, is needed to bring me apparently to where I stand now. Where I stand for. And that is okay.
As a baby I am taking tiny steps forwards and in the moment now I try to accept, be, reside and live. Do my thing as far that is possible as babies do need a lot of time to practice. I am not the human I was ten years ago. I was broken several times, de-fenced, torn apart, kicked out of my comforted zone and I am still here. No reason why I am still standing, but I am. More powerful, more conscious and more convinced and persuaded that everything was for the best. My soul best.
I am a big tear dropping baby. I am as I am and in the tiny steps I make on the moment I learn to be. To be here. With the fact that I am. I am deliberately broken, shaken, to come to the fact that I am alive. In the here and now. Babies need space. Otherwise I might fall. But I learn to get up. Every time faster than faster. I am learning. When I fall I don’t lose. I just am learning. There is no good or false. As the almighty cupboard of being does not serve ratings, degrees but only lessons. Lessons to rise in the most prophesied meanings of the self. The almighty soul self.
So, I am a big soul baby. I cry now. My rebirth was very painful. It couldn’t be done otherwise. As the stubborn soul I am I had it to learn this way. For me there was no other way. I did it my way. And that is okay. As it was foreseen. I feel that now. I know that now.
I am hungry. As babies are hungry often I need to be fed on time. I do that by myself. Just by taking action on behalf of myself. As I heard these words today I want to share them with you: “Surround yourself with nature and the earthly elements: air, water, earth and fire and feel alive.” So the nature, my own woods, are my sanctuary. Respect that.
I had to be reset in my own origins. To be recognized with self again. To be reborn. The rebirthing process was very painful indeed. As I had to let go everything what held me down, what drove me away from my original path of being. All those pains I relived, all that rejection, past-lives torture and torment but also deaths. My pains where peeled off of my beloved soul. Layer by layer and in the total nakedness I felt alone, cold and vulnerable.
The moment I accepted, I surrender and give the universe my full commitment and trust things started to change. The changing was a fact and the universe let me see my rebirth as I am capable to experience that with my silver lining into source.
As a big baby I need rest and my salvation and stillness can be found in myself. I withdraw myself into the boundaries of my capabilities and I feel moment by moment what is possible. I should take naps like babies do but life also keeps me busy. Things are about to change as I just stood up on my tiny baby legs on the universal path. And that is scary again no wonder I fall sometimes but that is inherent to life itself. My life. The art of living is to fall and get up in the resilience of your own being and to think nothing of it. As it is yours. Your path. Nobody can feel, live and walk your path. Just know that.
We all just explore, discover and evolve. On our spectacular and unique ways. That is the most beautiful thing. There is so much singularity, individuality but on the other hand we are so interwoven, connected with each other. But I do it my way, okay. I need to sleep now. I am tired of my voyage here. My rebirth was one of a kind and the Phoenix in me has to wait a little bit longer as my tiny baby legs can’t bare a huge Phoenix. I smell her often. It is like a huge inner fire what smells like gasoil. She is on her way. Now it is baby boom time. To forget all I had learned for so far to discover the abundance of my wealthy soul. What a baby richness. We are all born with a silver soul spoon in our mouth. Don’t forget that when you are set on the universal calendar to be awaken in your own existential truth…
Crawl and fall, stand up and fall… grasp the universe by her long sleeve and get up. In your timing, do it your way and be helped to take those tiny steps forwards to your soul adulthood and beyond…
Love, Irmgard
