Becoming whole in perspective

There is no cooperation, no cohesive and no connection when you are not aligned with self. In the unification of your soul self with your humanly self you can take a leap, have faith and take advantage of the commitment. That is what I have learned for so far. Although also my guides & the universe told me.

This takes an explanation. I am a distracted soul. An unleaded missile once said and in the misunderstanding of my own existential truth I was forgotten about my essentiality. We all are born as a humanly soul and often there becomes a gap between those two as they don’t get along with each other as soon as the humanly mind comes in.

My mind wasn’t in my particular way responsible for this gap. My soul has lived so many lives, has seen and experienced so different levels of dualistic humanly sides (from the light to the dark and back. And that over and over again. Being victim and offender) that my soul didn’t want to integrated again in a humanly body. No good so far.

I am fifty-three years old now and whole my life I am coping with myself, dealing with and living in a world I do not understand, I apparently don’t fit in and the more I aged how greater this feeling became. Totally detached of self, no connection with my body and in an extremely lack of attunement with my soul self I ploughed and did find my way in life.

Just before my paranormality revealed itself on a blasting manner (I thought that I really hit the fence!) I went in 2016 to an psychologist for my internal detachment and problems in life. Not knowing that I resonate on such a level that everything came as a tsunami to me I got the label (diagnosed) with autism as the Psychiatric screening shopping list doesn’t withhold “paranormality nor high-sensible into frequential states” as a category.

Disillusioned and perhaps a bit glad that “it had a name” I went further on my path and the years after I processed so deeply on an emotional and deep internal level that the formerly diagnostic means didn’t hold stand for myself and the people around me. It was like a flight of an eagle into my life to withdraw me of myself, my responsibilities and most of all of my humanly task: being soulfully helpful to others based on my soul potential.

Hiding and breaking every rule, every thought and every emotion for so far I am noticeable guided by my guides & the universe for several years now and all was heading to, working forward to, being myself once again. I felt blocked, fenced and regulated by my own internal limitations and although I peeled many layers of the disconnection with my humanly self and body… it went on and on.

Last week I was ‘warned’ by my guides and the universal input that at the 12th of December a major life-chance would happen. I saw myself jumping of a boat and coming back as a different person, everything would be shaken up and fallen down like a house of cards and yesterday I heard that a major revelation was at stake. I got the shivers. What possible should happen to get me so far… shaken in my internal truth so deeply that I can move on differently. Granted in my authenticity.

Thinking (!) of the worst and asking my aligned soul partner and attuned friend for help… this was the only input I got as all should be about the experience. I often ask a healing and give a healing to my spiritual, soul and life partner and as soon as he laid his hands on me yesterday evening I started shaking, seeing into clairvoyant, hearing into clairhearing and knowing into clairknowing. It was revealing, it was so clear what happened. The reason that I wasn’t connected with my body was that my soul didn’t want to incarnate in a humanly body at all. It came from an intelligence so lovingly, so telepathically and so illuminating and due to the former humanly experiences it wouldn’t be connected with a humanly body after all. So far the knowing and the feeling.

What happened after that is that I was launched in  something like a centrifuge, a swing and that I was turned around so fast that my soul was detached of my body. I saw my soul laying on the ground, huddled like a little baby and it was full of sorrow. Later on I felt, was told and processed that my soul had no impact at all in our world without a body and therefore it needs a body to set itself free, set itself in its potential and spreading its soul goodies. I saw my soul growing like ‘one dark big cloud ‘ and it was in denial, it was ‘angry’ and wouldn’t accept that it needed a humanly body to evolve. It ignored to settle itself in my body.

Evolvement does not stand on its own and is connected with the material and unmaterial body as well. As soon as my soul understood this it shrinked and set itself free of the burden it had lived for so many years. For decades. Apparently for many lives. I said the words that I forgive myself, forgive my soul and all was necessary to become whole at last. It was quite an experience again and I now feel that they can live, act and commit together as it was meant from the start. My body, soul and mind too.

I am not ill, crazy nor autistic… I was locked up by myself, by my soul experiences and couldn’t contact, live and connect with my soul. And my soul on the other hand wouldn’t connect with me. This revelation does set me free and I feel such a relief in my body. It is like a new me has stand up and takes its energetic space. I didn’t take a good care for so many years for myself as it didn’t interest me at all. Also this has changed and I feel  I can take steps now not only on behalf of my soul but also on behalf of my humanly body.

The universe still surprises me with its magic, with its ‘coincidences’, meetings and with its methods to guide me, to learn me my life and evolutionary lessons but… this was something I never could have imagined that this disconnected state was the reason for my internal limitations, my emotional disabilities and the problems with not properly been connected with self and with others.

I certainly not have seen the light, but I am touched by its illuminating abilities to set me free of my burdens of this life, former lives and of the pains of my soul. What I have seen was really awful and I will spare you the details but just know that something was has wounded your soul so deeply can disconnect you of yourself, your pains, your life but most of all of your soul…

Love, Irmgard