When you are feeling stuck and it feels like you are in between… know that there is nothing so peculiar than yourself. You-self with the inner connection with being. Your being. Soul. As life is life and gives you the most suitable challenges to let your soul grow in the prosperity of its unique plan and perhaps (when this applies to you) contract too it can be an immense roller coaster. Of emotions, of experiences of those challenges who throw you in the deep, into the corners of your own existence and these tumbling universal experiences will keep you busy, going and flowing beyond expectations.
Expectations… don’t tell me about these encountering’s. It was just one of those days. Peeping the deep, sneaking out of bed whilst lying preferable down under those sheets what keep you warm in the Autumn, I couldn’t get a grip on my two feet and it took a while before I could even land on the cold floor.
Shaken to be awaken in the tiniest details and for so many, many years now that I don’t count the years anymore. I wonder how life even was before that day. I hardly can remember it. Unfortunately. Well… I wasn’t at my best today and I was so angry on that universe and all the lessons I had and have to learn that I felt an anchored anger in my bones, sorrow in my heart and pain in in my throat of all those hidden shit I didn’t spit out (yet).
I won’t bother you all with my personal deepening’s and hallelujah moments so resumed: I didn’t feel, see or explored my inner sun this daylight time. The moment I was touched deeply I internally shouted to the universe that it was enough, I had my share for such a long time and that I was really sick of moving.
My dearest followers are aware that I moved since 2017 already four times and soon I will be launched to another place to settle myself once again. As I navigate on my feelings and what is best suitable will be presented by the universe on a universal dining plate and I am allowed to choose to follow those leads, or not. This will be the third move(!) in one and a half year. I feel completely detached of feeling comfortable in my new home. Packing in and out. What a pity of all that effort…
Every single time I jumped in the deep, trusting on the universe in a bit of surrender (this goes up and down as I am humanly after all) the choices are always best for my soul and its evolvement. Not for my humanly self, oh no! That is the big discrepancy between what the universe serves to my soul and what I (human being) want to live. So far… no good today.
I had the hiccups and sniveled, sniffed and snort that it was enough. Plane tears falling, plenty in its total. I said to my guides and the universe as well “I am not a pin ball in your universal pin ball machine!!! I need to settle and do my thing. I feel totally detached and don’t get rest (internally and physically) to land on my both feet to be connected with myself and with others. I keep on moving and I am not a soul troubadour nor a soul nomad to do my thing in between and on the road”.
In my anger, see it as my personal soul angerment, I received the salvation, the ‘soulution’, of my problem in the words I grabbed out of the etheric sphere pronouncing “when you feel home in self, connected to your soul and its needs, you always are home. Wherever you are. Wherever you go. Whomever you meet…” Disorientated about my stage in life now I feel that this is the reason why I have to detach each time again. For several times last years.
Concluded: it doesn’t mind where the universe puts me after all. I am home where my soul is and in this bond, alliance and love-commitment I will be safe, I will be energized, worthified and empowered as long I keep this connection alive and kicking. My soul is on the first row and I am second (best). I have understood my lesson in this now still processing liking it or not… Still a bridge too far to raise that white flag of surrender and throw the hand towels away without all that snot in it. Meanwhile… I have no expectations at all anymore. The moment is now, now and now. Soon in my new homie. Thank you universe!